Silence!

This is terence's
blog (:
-nothing can navigate my page now

On Holiday! (:

Photobucket

*nar-vigaa-torr says -

xxx typed*: mind (blog)

(Sunday, 30 November 2008-)
+11/30/2008 10:04:00 am]*

Title: Time's Out-

It's over. and just want to live my life without any vvorries. Goodbye. My so-called wish was out and thanks for spoiling. To you, whoever you are.

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Wednesday, 26 November 2008-)
+11/26/2008 12:21:00 am]*

Title: Crazy Dream-

I had this mad dream last night.

It happened in an enclosed office in a high-rise building with no furniture. And there held a competition between two teams, playing a game which is similar to american football, this time round using a frisbee disc. Then surprisingly there was only one team that was leading and playing well all the way. Coincidentally that was mine and the game went on and on... until someone in the opposing team came in. That person wore lime-green (how odd!!) sports gear. After that, I suddenly realised that this female person looked smth like nerissa. But the funny thing was that she was called 'Grimsmith' instead (what dumdum name!!). It turned out so wierd that I felt awkward and even started to give the disgusted face when I woke up. Till now. eww!

aiyo. life's crazy. cya soon! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, 25 November 2008-)
+11/25/2008 01:24:00 am]*

Title: Surprised-

Oh. Hi! As the title mentioned, it's plentiful today.

Firstly, I never thought I'd be going for prom shopping with Andrew and Lucas at j8 ever since I was kind of shy and yadayada... Anyway, they were really nice people and the alcohol experiences were interesting. Also, they gave quite good advices too.

Then, I gave liselle 23 missed calls for anthea's thing. Beat that! Hope it surprised her... haha

We were supposed to say 'happy birthday' when everyone of us appear at door number 19 coincidentally at each station all the way to changi airport, just for anthea. It didn't quite work out but the excitement was there. yup. The funny thing was that because they took quite a while we had the time to go for soya bean ice cream. Sounds crazy but that was it.

The conversation at airport as a group was enlightening. With the table occupied by anthea, darylchan, aggie, gavrielle, joy, ianshan, majella, ngeederk, liselle, myself, andre & shufei, there were quite a lot of words of wisdom going around and there's a sense of inspiration going in. Oh. Elisabeth from shufei's class lost her phone and I hope she finds it. yup. And had to thank anthea's mum for treating, hope she gets her loads of candies in that candy house. haha.

One thing; today I heard people - not too many, two only - telling their paktorh stories. I don't mean the official kinda dating, but the starts that they said were quite interesting. But the first thing that came to my mind was "what's the world up to now man?! Is this the mating season? Or maybe, dating season?" btw, krygsman and clara told their stories. I think I'm a little jealous then, but I'm never ready to feel that way. yeap.

~smile!! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 23 November 2008-)
+11/23/2008 01:56:00 am]*

Title: The winner takes it all-

I don't wanna talk about the things we've gone through though it's hurting me.
Now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done to.
Nothing more to say; no more ace to play.

The winner takes it all; the loser standing small. Beside the victory; that's her destiny.
I was in your arms, thinking I belong there. I figured it made sense building me a fence.
Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there. But I was a fool, playing by the rules.
The Gods may throw the dice, their minds as cold as ice. And someone here loses someone dear.

The winner takes it all; the loser has to fall. It's simple and it's plain; why should I complain?

Tell me does she kiss like I used to kiss you? Does it feel the same when she calls your name? Somewhere deep inside I must know I miss you. Now what can I say? Rules must be obeyed.

The judges will decide the likes of me abide. Spectators of the show always staying low. The game is on again; the lover or a friend. A big thing or small, the winner takes it all.

I don't wanna talk, 'cause it makes me feel sad. And I understand, you've come to shake my hand.
I apologise if it makes you feel bad. Seeing me so tense; no self confidence. But you see; the winner takes it all. The winner takes it all.
The game is on again; the lover or a friend. A big thing or small, the winner takes it all.

The winner takes it all.

Oh. This song stayed with me for the night. anw. I was at Cafe Vic in Carlton for some belated celebration and really, the food was very nice and I ate from start to finish. Then during which, I happened to bump into an ex-schoolmate, only to find out that he was jervis from class 5 in mss. He was working there and I wanted some food from him. So he was a little reluctant to give me with his body tilted to one side, suggesting that he wasn't going to give me my food unless I fulfill his demand. He then said, "are you from m-------". Meanwhile I was still stunned by his action that made me pause for seconds. When I finally got him, I told him, then he replied, "oh you look familiar..." I got my food in the end, but that moment of seeing a schoolmate was quite a surprise, the gesture was funnier.

~smile! and those previous posts just meant that i'm not too happy without that bit of courage

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Friday, 21 November 2008-)
+11/21/2008 06:23:00 pm]*

Title: Weekly update-

18Nov08, 2322

As I am trying to stay awake at this hour, I am still thinking about what happened today. leong cried for leaving ten questions out for phys mcq. meanwhile i had a little more luck than he did. i circled one of the question numbers on the shading sheet way before the paper ended and then when the chief person said stop i anyhow whacked and shaded option c. just then the female ghost invigilator came by to say stop. fortunately i managed to erase my circled marking and carried on all question answered. but actually i felt a little sorry for him when his face was controlling not to cry with his cheek muscles vibrating, and really vibrating, and his mouth uncontrollably widening.

Anyway, right before the phys paper started I was in foul luck to have an invigilator who looks like a female ghost. I mean, it's true that she looks scary. Really, she was damn skinny, wore white top and black short skirt. Then the skirt is made of smth like stocking material (it was extremely annoying to find it floating past my desk for so many times)! Worst of all, there was blood red lipstick. Together with her untidy curly hair let down, it was the disaster. Man, no joke!

I was struggling to put myself to character not to feel isolated with jher, and being able to tell momma that my freq. is failing while subconscious kinda tells me that nothing's going right.

19Nov08, 2348

Dreamt of jher this morning (: but I kinda forgot how it was like. Anyway, it wasn't as fun or exciting as wished.

20Nov08, 2244

Frisbee day.
Piong was super funny, and scary. When we were on the pitch and I got hit with a disc swung towards me, she tried hard to convince me that it meant something good, "When it hits your neck, then the plastic will go into your blood and then your neck and shoulder will grow stronger... Oh! Then you'll be spiderman..." Ridiculous right!! After the match, she started to sing any song whenever she heard any word familiar. She was singing 'Home' from the national day n years ago while we were walking from the pitch to market for dinner. The way everyone tried to stop her from singing was funny and that silence was hilarious! While we were eating our table had a drink on the house after buying seven cups of sugar cane drink. We wanted to offer the other table where piong was. they bought seven cups too before us and she decided that she needed to fight for her rights. so after hearing how we got an extra cup, her eyes suddenly glowed with anger as she tried to ask the uncle... aggie and rachel later told her not to get too angry (or smth) but she said she was going to 'talk to the uncle nicely', but anyone could feel that she was going to kill him (in any way).

Oh! There was some kind of argument about boots too. Alvin got a stab by sharp things when someone stepped on him and then hongtaa got so serious with the president of the other team, N"a"P. Then after the match, the president said something about his responsibility for telling 'his guys' to follow the rules when he told his opposition not to wear boots. I was quite fine with that statement, but the way he spoke was a little too fidgety. yup.

Then there was the embarrassment of the day. I was a little tired after playing for two points I think and was supposed to mark a short and fat guy. I'd be nice not to describe him this way if he had been not so cocky. 'Cause when it was our turn to defend he gave the grin that seem to say "heehee. hi kid! you're going down!" I tried to be a little nice then and gave the "oh hi..." smile, but this fella immediately gave the backlash and did runs up and down, and before I knew it he scored the first point for their side. One of the team people asked who was supposed to be marking him, which made me feel ultimately bad for letting the other team get theirs.

Speaking for our side's points, most of them came from hucks and sprints from half of the field, kj taking a number for us. I remembered scoring a point in the last game, but that was a fluke when it wasn't meant for me. Either way, that was my luck of the moment. haha.

Another incident was when I was defending. I was marking some guy then and he did a swing - a backhand one - and I blocked it. I was very sure that the disc hit my hand and I didn't hit him, but he decided to give the call that I fouled him. If I had been a little anal I'd protest for it, but thank goodness it was just a friendly. phew!

The face-off between Alvin and kj was hilarious with both wanting to get on top of each other verbally. I can't really describe, but two of them can simply make the other go "wah lao, you win", yep that sort.

Hongtaa without specs was funny. Because there was a construction where people would join metal pieces together and create sparks, hongtaa thought that there were fireworks and until a long time later did he realise that he was blind all these while and when he finally told us what was really happening, everyone gave the -.- face and turned away. super funny!

21Nov08 (now)
I was guessing the song to squeeze just now at the first squeeze and I was right!! so happy! it was "it's over" by jesse mccartney btw.
And I just figured out that facebook has a lot of pictures that might be fun. Not bad for someone new to this huh? haha (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 16 November 2008-)
+11/16/2008 09:41:00 pm]*

Title: Tolerance-

Time's running out. I had killed my time for the day with, nothing. Well actually, I felt like I had been on drugs the whole day - all I remembered was lunch, msn, dinner and ten questions of mcq which could have been completed in twenty minutes. Yes, terence is in deep trouble, and as I'm working on my fingers now, I don't think I know what exactly I'm doing. If there was a camera in front, I would look like I'm paralysed or smth. To add onto that, I'm giving the expressionless dumb face with dying eyes. oh no. I'm tired.

If I'm tired, then why on earth I'm wasting time on this place with practically three people who can open it? Anyway, I just thought of what jojo said about o1 a few days ago. The first thing he said was about groupings; at first I was a little excited for the pairings that had so much swaps and shuffling, but he went on to talk about the specific pairing(s). He said about eunice's group that created trouble for the committee people, and then later on why I was paired with the eventual partner. I was paired with su in the end, and jojo illustrated it with a question. You know why rhe(yza) was had roderick as partner? Just then and only then had I seen the light about most council guys, especially michael kc and jojo, laughed at me when the pairings were released just before the mae sot trip. I know I shouldn't write this, but this whole scene with jojo's talk just struck me for this boring day.

I'm supposed to tell carceng about the taboo on tuesday after much trouble disturbing my study for chem. But I know deep down that this is something like wishing before a birthday cake; once you wish out loud, it will never realise. Still, as I was reading some things I wrote long time ago they sounded quite funny; some had all sorts of Singlish, others gave me goosebumps and a sense of awkwardness and embarrassment. Thank goodness they're hidden in one corner of the house. And honestly, I think hand-written journals have more sentimental value, and they reflect on the person's character then. or at least for me, especially when i just love to read my strange kind of handwriting. haha.

oh! leona lewis' forgive me is the song with beats that can keep me going. wanted to post the video but the trouble told me not to. yup.

~smile! no worries!! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Saturday, 15 November 2008-)
+11/15/2008 01:07:00 am]*

Title: Covering fire with tissue paper-

Thinking of this title just makes me all the more immature. Anyway, I genuinely think that the word "life" is overused. Often bums on the radio just love to say this with the cool feeling that. Just minutes ago, some kid whose voice was in the midst of breaking was telling the dj that he was going to "enjoy ~". Then the first thing that came to my mind was, do you really know what that means, little goat?

Speaking about that, I'm beginning to feel that the future is as good as a cloudy crystal ball. Everything will start back from zero, hype myself up to the side of me that was never in any chapter of "Terence's personality". All friendships built will come to a halt, and the prudent nature will set in again. The fear of disturbing others will re-surface, and within a short time, meeting with these friends will feel awkward again. Poof! Stop that!

These days were the exams. Honestly, this review shows how troubled I am throughout this period. Yes, studying has been more effective and more info has been going in, but no form of studying is ever enough in situations like this. Sacrifices were made for some subjects, fickle-minded feeling crept in during the tight paper and unclear minds with tensed grip on my stationery happened in the hall. So yes, quite bad. I didn't dare to discuss any further, in fact, but I guess I haven't learnt what the name of the game is like here - self-learning and self-revision. It all boiled down to self time management; something I never did even though I knew how this ought to be played. Other than my crappy moments, the invigilators' behaviours were worth mentioning too. Some had odd outfits, others were lazy and a handful looked wierd by themselves. How disturbing.

Then whenever I was having a little prayer, I had this bad habit to pray for others before myself. In fact, the first would be jher, partly because it's quite worrying that jshe hardly felt any pressure for anything at all, and partly because that's the first thing that came to mind. Can't really help it though. Then other names would follow until one fine day I realised that the number of people I want to pray for was 98765425384950987652; and I almost slept without ending it for that. And I thought it would be a little rude to start off and expecting God to wait for me to end my prayer a few hours later, which was why I learnt to group people as a bunch. It saved a lot more time. (:

Despite naming the title as that, I find that the passion inside has been burying deep down. Perhaps, the passion has gone, but I tend to believe that the time isn't right, and that has been my favourite excuse of the year. I used to blame myself to let chances to be slipping through my fingers; I mean, January and April, those important months of my calendar. Anyway, the picture that made Andrew disturbed me with was my fuel at times. btw, did i say that playlist one has become more and more irrelevant? those songs are simply immature and pointless, except for the times when I'm tired and falling into the character of the singer could drive tears out.

Oh yes, please don't try to do what the title says, you'll get burnt. I decided to add this in when I heard from neighbour that Dang really took his lit text literally. Hope no one does it, but if anyone does, tell me and I'll have a good laugh at it. haha (:

One last thing, I hope, did I say that Quantum of Solace was rather good? yes, it was, just that some scenes were blurred by the parts when the show tried to have the "action" feel by shaking the camera. And there was one building the crew made, it was part of the set in the show, with cardboard ceilings. In the end the building caught fire, showing that if cardboard can ignite so easily, you'd be wasting tissue paper trying to control fire. yup.

~still, smiles applies, in search of a door; the right door. (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Friday, 7 November 2008-)
+11/07/2008 11:28:00 pm]*

Title: Windfall-

Time's running out. In fact, time ran out. I collapsed into pieces, but rose from the grave.

It's been quite some time since I really did some post like this. This might eventually turn horrible, but I do have a rough idea on how to do this. This week was disastrous, the exams were, tough. See, I can't even find a proper word for it, but there were some that I was careless, others that I was dearly hoping things can go my way and the rest - the whole chunk of them - could save me from the fire. Then there were the illnesses that fell upon me; headache, stomach problems and my swollen gum (out of nowhere) after ear infection. Thank God I learnt that doctors do work wonders on me. So the following days the number of pills, bitter ones, that rubbed against my throat was torturous, but being able to hallucinate while writing on thick spacing of foolscap wasn't a bad idea at all. At least, the pressure was off.

Honestly, after these days where I decided that I ought to give up. In fact, I'm feeling it; the feeling feels kind of good to see jher around, but coming to a point of saying byebye is inevitable and I don't want that. Still, when kj tried to disturb me at what's he's best at, I kept my cool and hid my expression. Later, I realised that might be for real, well with the exception, and that's the thing that I did inside me; never fail to forget how everything started... No doubt for my physical self to really forget, I removed any sort of pictures related and even the playlist is working on me.

Anyway, I've been half asleep for quite some time and bye.

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

xxx typed*: blog

(Sunday, 30 November 2008-)
+11/30/2008 10:04:00 am]*

Title: Time's Out-

It's over. and just want to live my life without any vvorries. Goodbye. My so-called wish was out and thanks for spoiling. To you, whoever you are.

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Wednesday, 26 November 2008-)
+11/26/2008 12:21:00 am]*

Title: Crazy Dream-

I had this mad dream last night.

It happened in an enclosed office in a high-rise building with no furniture. And there held a competition between two teams, playing a game which is similar to american football, this time round using a frisbee disc. Then surprisingly there was only one team that was leading and playing well all the way. Coincidentally that was mine and the game went on and on... until someone in the opposing team came in. That person wore lime-green (how odd!!) sports gear. After that, I suddenly realised that this female person looked smth like nerissa. But the funny thing was that she was called 'Grimsmith' instead (what dumdum name!!). It turned out so wierd that I felt awkward and even started to give the disgusted face when I woke up. Till now. eww!

aiyo. life's crazy. cya soon! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Tuesday, 25 November 2008-)
+11/25/2008 01:24:00 am]*

Title: Surprised-

Oh. Hi! As the title mentioned, it's plentiful today.

Firstly, I never thought I'd be going for prom shopping with Andrew and Lucas at j8 ever since I was kind of shy and yadayada... Anyway, they were really nice people and the alcohol experiences were interesting. Also, they gave quite good advices too.

Then, I gave liselle 23 missed calls for anthea's thing. Beat that! Hope it surprised her... haha

We were supposed to say 'happy birthday' when everyone of us appear at door number 19 coincidentally at each station all the way to changi airport, just for anthea. It didn't quite work out but the excitement was there. yup. The funny thing was that because they took quite a while we had the time to go for soya bean ice cream. Sounds crazy but that was it.

The conversation at airport as a group was enlightening. With the table occupied by anthea, darylchan, aggie, gavrielle, joy, ianshan, majella, ngeederk, liselle, myself, andre & shufei, there were quite a lot of words of wisdom going around and there's a sense of inspiration going in. Oh. Elisabeth from shufei's class lost her phone and I hope she finds it. yup. And had to thank anthea's mum for treating, hope she gets her loads of candies in that candy house. haha.

One thing; today I heard people - not too many, two only - telling their paktorh stories. I don't mean the official kinda dating, but the starts that they said were quite interesting. But the first thing that came to my mind was "what's the world up to now man?! Is this the mating season? Or maybe, dating season?" btw, krygsman and clara told their stories. I think I'm a little jealous then, but I'm never ready to feel that way. yeap.

~smile!! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 23 November 2008-)
+11/23/2008 01:56:00 am]*

Title: The winner takes it all-

I don't wanna talk about the things we've gone through though it's hurting me.
Now it's history. I've played all my cards, and that's what you've done to.
Nothing more to say; no more ace to play.

The winner takes it all; the loser standing small. Beside the victory; that's her destiny.
I was in your arms, thinking I belong there. I figured it made sense building me a fence.
Building me a home, thinking I'd be strong there. But I was a fool, playing by the rules.
The Gods may throw the dice, their minds as cold as ice. And someone here loses someone dear.

The winner takes it all; the loser has to fall. It's simple and it's plain; why should I complain?

Tell me does she kiss like I used to kiss you? Does it feel the same when she calls your name? Somewhere deep inside I must know I miss you. Now what can I say? Rules must be obeyed.

The judges will decide the likes of me abide. Spectators of the show always staying low. The game is on again; the lover or a friend. A big thing or small, the winner takes it all.

I don't wanna talk, 'cause it makes me feel sad. And I understand, you've come to shake my hand.
I apologise if it makes you feel bad. Seeing me so tense; no self confidence. But you see; the winner takes it all. The winner takes it all.
The game is on again; the lover or a friend. A big thing or small, the winner takes it all.

The winner takes it all.

Oh. This song stayed with me for the night. anw. I was at Cafe Vic in Carlton for some belated celebration and really, the food was very nice and I ate from start to finish. Then during which, I happened to bump into an ex-schoolmate, only to find out that he was jervis from class 5 in mss. He was working there and I wanted some food from him. So he was a little reluctant to give me with his body tilted to one side, suggesting that he wasn't going to give me my food unless I fulfill his demand. He then said, "are you from m-------". Meanwhile I was still stunned by his action that made me pause for seconds. When I finally got him, I told him, then he replied, "oh you look familiar..." I got my food in the end, but that moment of seeing a schoolmate was quite a surprise, the gesture was funnier.

~smile! and those previous posts just meant that i'm not too happy without that bit of courage

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Friday, 21 November 2008-)
+11/21/2008 06:23:00 pm]*

Title: Weekly update-

18Nov08, 2322

As I am trying to stay awake at this hour, I am still thinking about what happened today. leong cried for leaving ten questions out for phys mcq. meanwhile i had a little more luck than he did. i circled one of the question numbers on the shading sheet way before the paper ended and then when the chief person said stop i anyhow whacked and shaded option c. just then the female ghost invigilator came by to say stop. fortunately i managed to erase my circled marking and carried on all question answered. but actually i felt a little sorry for him when his face was controlling not to cry with his cheek muscles vibrating, and really vibrating, and his mouth uncontrollably widening.

Anyway, right before the phys paper started I was in foul luck to have an invigilator who looks like a female ghost. I mean, it's true that she looks scary. Really, she was damn skinny, wore white top and black short skirt. Then the skirt is made of smth like stocking material (it was extremely annoying to find it floating past my desk for so many times)! Worst of all, there was blood red lipstick. Together with her untidy curly hair let down, it was the disaster. Man, no joke!

I was struggling to put myself to character not to feel isolated with jher, and being able to tell momma that my freq. is failing while subconscious kinda tells me that nothing's going right.

19Nov08, 2348

Dreamt of jher this morning (: but I kinda forgot how it was like. Anyway, it wasn't as fun or exciting as wished.

20Nov08, 2244

Frisbee day.
Piong was super funny, and scary. When we were on the pitch and I got hit with a disc swung towards me, she tried hard to convince me that it meant something good, "When it hits your neck, then the plastic will go into your blood and then your neck and shoulder will grow stronger... Oh! Then you'll be spiderman..." Ridiculous right!! After the match, she started to sing any song whenever she heard any word familiar. She was singing 'Home' from the national day n years ago while we were walking from the pitch to market for dinner. The way everyone tried to stop her from singing was funny and that silence was hilarious! While we were eating our table had a drink on the house after buying seven cups of sugar cane drink. We wanted to offer the other table where piong was. they bought seven cups too before us and she decided that she needed to fight for her rights. so after hearing how we got an extra cup, her eyes suddenly glowed with anger as she tried to ask the uncle... aggie and rachel later told her not to get too angry (or smth) but she said she was going to 'talk to the uncle nicely', but anyone could feel that she was going to kill him (in any way).

Oh! There was some kind of argument about boots too. Alvin got a stab by sharp things when someone stepped on him and then hongtaa got so serious with the president of the other team, N"a"P. Then after the match, the president said something about his responsibility for telling 'his guys' to follow the rules when he told his opposition not to wear boots. I was quite fine with that statement, but the way he spoke was a little too fidgety. yup.

Then there was the embarrassment of the day. I was a little tired after playing for two points I think and was supposed to mark a short and fat guy. I'd be nice not to describe him this way if he had been not so cocky. 'Cause when it was our turn to defend he gave the grin that seem to say "heehee. hi kid! you're going down!" I tried to be a little nice then and gave the "oh hi..." smile, but this fella immediately gave the backlash and did runs up and down, and before I knew it he scored the first point for their side. One of the team people asked who was supposed to be marking him, which made me feel ultimately bad for letting the other team get theirs.

Speaking for our side's points, most of them came from hucks and sprints from half of the field, kj taking a number for us. I remembered scoring a point in the last game, but that was a fluke when it wasn't meant for me. Either way, that was my luck of the moment. haha.

Another incident was when I was defending. I was marking some guy then and he did a swing - a backhand one - and I blocked it. I was very sure that the disc hit my hand and I didn't hit him, but he decided to give the call that I fouled him. If I had been a little anal I'd protest for it, but thank goodness it was just a friendly. phew!

The face-off between Alvin and kj was hilarious with both wanting to get on top of each other verbally. I can't really describe, but two of them can simply make the other go "wah lao, you win", yep that sort.

Hongtaa without specs was funny. Because there was a construction where people would join metal pieces together and create sparks, hongtaa thought that there were fireworks and until a long time later did he realise that he was blind all these while and when he finally told us what was really happening, everyone gave the -.- face and turned away. super funny!

21Nov08 (now)
I was guessing the song to squeeze just now at the first squeeze and I was right!! so happy! it was "it's over" by jesse mccartney btw.
And I just figured out that facebook has a lot of pictures that might be fun. Not bad for someone new to this huh? haha (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 16 November 2008-)
+11/16/2008 09:41:00 pm]*

Title: Tolerance-

Time's running out. I had killed my time for the day with, nothing. Well actually, I felt like I had been on drugs the whole day - all I remembered was lunch, msn, dinner and ten questions of mcq which could have been completed in twenty minutes. Yes, terence is in deep trouble, and as I'm working on my fingers now, I don't think I know what exactly I'm doing. If there was a camera in front, I would look like I'm paralysed or smth. To add onto that, I'm giving the expressionless dumb face with dying eyes. oh no. I'm tired.

If I'm tired, then why on earth I'm wasting time on this place with practically three people who can open it? Anyway, I just thought of what jojo said about o1 a few days ago. The first thing he said was about groupings; at first I was a little excited for the pairings that had so much swaps and shuffling, but he went on to talk about the specific pairing(s). He said about eunice's group that created trouble for the committee people, and then later on why I was paired with the eventual partner. I was paired with su in the end, and jojo illustrated it with a question. You know why rhe(yza) was had roderick as partner? Just then and only then had I seen the light about most council guys, especially michael kc and jojo, laughed at me when the pairings were released just before the mae sot trip. I know I shouldn't write this, but this whole scene with jojo's talk just struck me for this boring day.

I'm supposed to tell carceng about the taboo on tuesday after much trouble disturbing my study for chem. But I know deep down that this is something like wishing before a birthday cake; once you wish out loud, it will never realise. Still, as I was reading some things I wrote long time ago they sounded quite funny; some had all sorts of Singlish, others gave me goosebumps and a sense of awkwardness and embarrassment. Thank goodness they're hidden in one corner of the house. And honestly, I think hand-written journals have more sentimental value, and they reflect on the person's character then. or at least for me, especially when i just love to read my strange kind of handwriting. haha.

oh! leona lewis' forgive me is the song with beats that can keep me going. wanted to post the video but the trouble told me not to. yup.

~smile! no worries!! (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Saturday, 15 November 2008-)
+11/15/2008 01:07:00 am]*

Title: Covering fire with tissue paper-

Thinking of this title just makes me all the more immature. Anyway, I genuinely think that the word "life" is overused. Often bums on the radio just love to say this with the cool feeling that. Just minutes ago, some kid whose voice was in the midst of breaking was telling the dj that he was going to "enjoy ~". Then the first thing that came to my mind was, do you really know what that means, little goat?

Speaking about that, I'm beginning to feel that the future is as good as a cloudy crystal ball. Everything will start back from zero, hype myself up to the side of me that was never in any chapter of "Terence's personality". All friendships built will come to a halt, and the prudent nature will set in again. The fear of disturbing others will re-surface, and within a short time, meeting with these friends will feel awkward again. Poof! Stop that!

These days were the exams. Honestly, this review shows how troubled I am throughout this period. Yes, studying has been more effective and more info has been going in, but no form of studying is ever enough in situations like this. Sacrifices were made for some subjects, fickle-minded feeling crept in during the tight paper and unclear minds with tensed grip on my stationery happened in the hall. So yes, quite bad. I didn't dare to discuss any further, in fact, but I guess I haven't learnt what the name of the game is like here - self-learning and self-revision. It all boiled down to self time management; something I never did even though I knew how this ought to be played. Other than my crappy moments, the invigilators' behaviours were worth mentioning too. Some had odd outfits, others were lazy and a handful looked wierd by themselves. How disturbing.

Then whenever I was having a little prayer, I had this bad habit to pray for others before myself. In fact, the first would be jher, partly because it's quite worrying that jshe hardly felt any pressure for anything at all, and partly because that's the first thing that came to mind. Can't really help it though. Then other names would follow until one fine day I realised that the number of people I want to pray for was 98765425384950987652; and I almost slept without ending it for that. And I thought it would be a little rude to start off and expecting God to wait for me to end my prayer a few hours later, which was why I learnt to group people as a bunch. It saved a lot more time. (:

Despite naming the title as that, I find that the passion inside has been burying deep down. Perhaps, the passion has gone, but I tend to believe that the time isn't right, and that has been my favourite excuse of the year. I used to blame myself to let chances to be slipping through my fingers; I mean, January and April, those important months of my calendar. Anyway, the picture that made Andrew disturbed me with was my fuel at times. btw, did i say that playlist one has become more and more irrelevant? those songs are simply immature and pointless, except for the times when I'm tired and falling into the character of the singer could drive tears out.

Oh yes, please don't try to do what the title says, you'll get burnt. I decided to add this in when I heard from neighbour that Dang really took his lit text literally. Hope no one does it, but if anyone does, tell me and I'll have a good laugh at it. haha (:

One last thing, I hope, did I say that Quantum of Solace was rather good? yes, it was, just that some scenes were blurred by the parts when the show tried to have the "action" feel by shaking the camera. And there was one building the crew made, it was part of the set in the show, with cardboard ceilings. In the end the building caught fire, showing that if cardboard can ignite so easily, you'd be wasting tissue paper trying to control fire. yup.

~still, smiles applies, in search of a door; the right door. (:

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Friday, 7 November 2008-)
+11/07/2008 11:28:00 pm]*

Title: Windfall-

Time's running out. In fact, time ran out. I collapsed into pieces, but rose from the grave.

It's been quite some time since I really did some post like this. This might eventually turn horrible, but I do have a rough idea on how to do this. This week was disastrous, the exams were, tough. See, I can't even find a proper word for it, but there were some that I was careless, others that I was dearly hoping things can go my way and the rest - the whole chunk of them - could save me from the fire. Then there were the illnesses that fell upon me; headache, stomach problems and my swollen gum (out of nowhere) after ear infection. Thank God I learnt that doctors do work wonders on me. So the following days the number of pills, bitter ones, that rubbed against my throat was torturous, but being able to hallucinate while writing on thick spacing of foolscap wasn't a bad idea at all. At least, the pressure was off.

Honestly, after these days where I decided that I ought to give up. In fact, I'm feeling it; the feeling feels kind of good to see jher around, but coming to a point of saying byebye is inevitable and I don't want that. Still, when kj tried to disturb me at what's he's best at, I kept my cool and hid my expression. Later, I realised that might be for real, well with the exception, and that's the thing that I did inside me; never fail to forget how everything started... No doubt for my physical self to really forget, I removed any sort of pictures related and even the playlist is working on me.

Anyway, I've been half asleep for quite some time and bye.

yup, so that's what happened (:
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