This isn't another "life is great and let me sing and dance around" post. Instead, it is the aftermath of an egoistic period of cleaning myself of the injected chemicals in my body.

I began my rehabilitation on Thursday, but have been failing every single day. At some point of the day I'd give myself excuses that I need it and forgo this plan I had.

Yet, this isn't the highlight of my post today. Rather, it is to speak of how i came to this stage in the first place. So as I was living a normal life as a student, studying and preparing for presentations, in the company of CSS friends, I realised I was getting closer to a friend Denise. I mean, a friend is fine. But the problem came in when a talk with squirrel suddenly instigated so many ideas (rather, voices & noises) in my head that spoke about the rumour between us. Soon, I realised I was battling against these voices. All I heard were words spoken directly to me and the conflicts in me. The funny thing was, it is only after that do I know that I had been going through this conflict.

Today's gospel read, You are already pruned. The question lies whether I recognise it. And I saw how I told my parents I wanted to head to school, and they sort of kicked me out of the house. In the wilderness promptings of "live your life as a person, not just as a student" kept coming at me.

As I'm about to shower and get ready to call this a night, I can say that I'm ready to take on the next day. With God by my side.