Silence!

xxx typed*: mind (blog)

(Saturday, 30 June 2007-)
+6/30/2007 11:36:00 pm]*

Title: saddy-

i find that it's damn sad that... i've gotta go to the scouting thing today. feeling so unwell yet gotta get my bloody butt out of the house... nvm, what's done's done and cannot be undone.

so anw, glad to be in such a good role in this event... haha, the only guy in my group... :D) it's damn cool right?? then i'll try impress all of them... argh, talking rubbish...

anyway, it's cool to see dominic being so varied in his language... 自己搞點... then some hokkien.. can't rem all.. and also there's err... dorville?? yup, should be.. oh, she's also quite a funny person, i guess.. was suggesting some smart comments at times. oh, not forgetting yiu tak. he's damn pro and was like asking lots of nitty gritty questions abt his side...

there's just so many good leaders in this whole thing that i'm just an idiot there doing the smile, tok cock thing. fine, i'll also do it well, i hope... haha :D

another thing has been happening since i went back for my holiday. kept seeing that name in lots of places u know. then that image never gets cleared in my mind... psst, i'm just trying to be so low profile from now onwards i'll try to be so air-y instead of being so water-y n emo that i'll plan every single thing before i bull anything here, in case if i spill anything... well, i'm that blur. but it's a fact, things will never get secret in such place where there're so many ppl can read it...

so, the last thing is bcuz i just find it sad when someone loses a fren who has been so close with lots of fun and laughter together. yup, kinda regretted to spoil it with eugene last time. wished time could... it's okay, perhaps it's better this way...

lastly, failed to call captain shrek to go help with cip. wanted to tempt him by calling someone, but thought that it'll be evil so i dropped that idea... wasted...

peace!!

Labels: dominic, ltc, small, splat

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/30/2007 10:44:00 am]*

Title: maddy-

hey

life's just weird these days. here i have some strange dreams about different people, like jack's cca mate trying to get me on a date (-damn stupid...) and this morn, alex's face was with my little cousins.

then some crazed ppl just asked some lame questions. i mean for me it is, but for them, just being kpo.. two actually.

then the maddest of all was pet. called ppl to dump me into the dam pool. i just rem three of them. her, leonard n chao... hmm, i think... and, i'll track the last one down too... just too sudden man, it's like all the others are eh u got bring ur clothes or not... eh where's ur spects arh... can see or not??... gimme ur valuables... grab him... then there's four idiots, grabbed my four little limbs n threw me into the pool. just like ppl dumping the corpse into the sea or smth like that. just madness. then when i came up, a whole row of drama ppl staring la! like seeing if i'm dead or not. wth. some more first to be thrown in the rain!! alright, sounds retarded...

but before that, there're some good pics taken with some good lookin ppl... hehe :)

but the party yest was fun. some ppl gettin real drunk. heard shuanne was one. nat also, wobbly feet. haha :D and also sondra n shu were like fighting..?? haha, put me in real trouble... haha :D loved the way we were. prob all the guys were in the pool. but oh! matt's hurt, hope he's well soon... n also cake fight. sigh, but i was so cold that i just stood around n hear the 'i never' game. hmm, lots of secrets were out... haha :D

liked the way ketsu was tellin abt the trend of fashion now. sounds amazing.

gonna die when i'm goin to do planning now. wish me luck!! hrs of work!!

Labels: celebrations, fights, hallucination, kpo, splat, troubles

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 28 June 2007-)
+6/28/2007 03:56:00 pm]*

Title: OVD: Something Bad?-

feelin real tired... bruddy chem siaz. wth.
anyway, that's what's running in my mind last night while still muggin...

it's kinda funny day, with lots of ups and downs. thank goodness nothing too horrendous though.
alright, late for practice spa session right in the morning. for some sorta reason, yza started my day by acting cute and sticking her tongue and smth... ... well, you got it. anw, was damn blur. okay, these things happened. kept asking for stuff to the chem tcher (-lestee's ht...), like indicator, fa1, worksheet... ... but everyone's busy. felt helpless when tcher wasn't around in quiet environments. then was still having phobias 'cos of yza, so stoned for... ever. haha :D learnt it from lizzy!!

ne test was my first entertainment, officially. laughter for all in the chicken-sand question, thinking it's chim... still, some got it wrong... haha :)

caught a tiny glimpse of her between intervals and after the tests. sorta enlightened me, but she looked glum. oh wells.

went for night study with joel's friends. i mean, to bishan lib. with him and new ppl. as in, gareth n damian. oh, before i forget, rachel's invitation. feel real thankful. 'cos the guys were dum farny
full of smiles.
jokes floated all over.
randomness popped...
only ended when we left.
haha, :D loved the whale n helicopter story... just reminded of some smart things lately. btw, that story was in fact bothering for some time. haha :D

oh, btw, felt bad to make fun of penguin(35)'s ez-link card. but trust me, it's funny to see her not growing since sec 1... but shoots, reminded me of my primary school crush... haha, too much exam stress...

well, that's for yest larh.
so for today...

chem was one where we cann0t study alot n expect gd results. cuz i started the intense revision like this morning!! haha, you can call it a screw up though. but boring paper with chunks of words that so damn needed time to read slowly. wth.

going back to mss was the main course. cuz i was so not motivated to study chinese, i begged ppl for activities. haha, begged. thank goodness. krygs n sat was going for cert. phew!! well, he was coolios. fun time talkin all of whom who were there. lululin, jojo, jacky. also, heard lots of info abt the politics there n stuff like that. haha, it sounds as if he's a tyrant. feelin sad to hear that... ... anw, the secretive part of convo was fun!! haha :D

and also, i so damn hated the way mr lloyd yeo was telling us abt the subject combination we should have taken. realli regretting why i didn't take history. shoots!

hope i do scrape thru tmr's... but i don't use 华文!! 他叉叉!! 唉呀, 惨了.我还没有读书呢!!
btw, i'm very lookin forward to the days ahead...
party...
t35!!
love to all... ::hearts::

Labels: damian, gareth, history, mss, spa

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Tuesday, 26 June 2007-)
+6/26/2007 06:51:00 pm]*

Title: backtrack...-

hey.
this links to the post on my supposed-to-mug times during the holidays...
http://openhighway-leadingourway.blogspot.com/2007/06/headaches-pain-and-tiredness.html
hope it's not too lame... haha :D
btw, too bored after the muggin subjects are kinda over. but not for thurs n fri, i think... ...

Labels: holiday, smiles

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/26/2007 05:36:00 pm]*

Title: wow!-

hey.

was super high today. was saying 'hi's to ppl, but all the way until i took the paper, which was kinda... ... tough. econs, by the way.
anyway, that's not the point. what happened next was the more important thing. okay, by then because of the paper that made it so sian, i was in a stoning mood. so i kept very quiet. only listening. was hearing interesting stuff like the tactics for dota... farming?... and stuff like that... heard what dm told isaac abt his hair, but found it unfair when daniel birdy was also darn long! almost couldn't recognise him. haha :)
but, the most funny thing came when binni told me tuck in ur shirt when both of us were right behind vp... but i was down then, so just act abit...
was kinda reflecting when at the bus on my way home... how blessed i am... and also stoned abit la, haha :)...
... almost got killed moments ago. was jaywalking across the T junction then. was fast enuf to go before a car, but too slow for a van. haha, what irony ... :) ... anyway, that driver reacted quick. otherwise...
i'm still thinking how blessed i am to be here telling you grandfather stories...

peace to all, and really, love your lives...

Labels: blessed, oops, unfair

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Monday, 25 June 2007-)
+6/25/2007 06:42:00 pm]*

Title: white flag-

broke down at phys paper today. tears flowed during the time when i was doing the mcq part. real demoralising. yup, lots of the twenty questions were the dont knows and i acually stoned by the fifteenth one.

the best part is, i told everyone that i was sleeping during then... now think i shouldn't have told lies. sorry.

but till now i still dont know why it happened. haha, wierdo mindo... :)

and feel real bad to give people long faces when they called me. try name them. liselle, clarisse, andrew, clarence, joshua, maple, chicky little... i'm sure there're many more, SORRY.

but thanks to some songs along my way home, i finally calmed down. but my eyes were once again wet.

sigh, just too weak.

but it gave me some sense of hope to fight on...

anyway, peace to all ^.^v!!

Labels: break, smiles?

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/25/2007 08:01:00 am]*

Title: destress-

wah lieu, feel lyk dum loser. wanted to bring fings to stardy for hours, but only read six pages in firty minites at bk... why so siaoz, huh? because terence is stewpid. dont stardy, but go do suprise for princess. later exam lesult oso got suprise... den peple fink he dum smart. dont mug for exam one... den dat din, even wan to hol mi longer. wah pieng, i give in alot liao. stae one mor hour til seven oleady. if can ah, i just shout at his face lorx... okay la, princess got rebirth... n oso found i was so eldds despo las time. no no, curtain-boy despo. oya, den remember da clown. tuf job man. jus tok cock anyfing on stage. ha :)... okae, dey sae mus enjoy yestdae...
dallen hav good video, but mi inside vely extra.
babysharon shock face dum funny. must take pic frm hazzi...
shinnie took sum good foto. so terence, lymember to ask kaes? (-bes frendy... frendy... frendy... frendy... frend... fren... fre... fr... f...)
penguin n his dum pro cam mus hav taken lots. so bug him for dem rightz?
stefan wif his tok-show. wah, he sound so exp man... jus lyk dose on tv. n oso so good man, organised my history at el. i inside ol jumbled up liaoz. ha :)
den when i thot of wat i sent to princess on syf dae. bef i scroll to dat, i got hers first! dum scary. sum psychic fing or wat.
eww, scared scared...
btw, i fink dere's illogical peple aroun. can reply sms wifout finking one...

Labels: babysharon, celebrations

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Saturday, 23 June 2007-)
+6/23/2007 02:55:00 pm]*

Title: Crashed into pieces-

it seems like there's a huge pile of load up that might just hit me any time. i can't take it anymore. well, here's why.

it's just countdowns to the midyrs and now, two days left. or, 1.5 left... the best thing is, my chem's empty, econs die, maths a 'lil hopeful and can only bank on my last - phys. see, if things go on like this, i won't make past yr 1.

next, the grp has been callin me to attend smth to give baby sharon some sort of farewell. dinesh was like negotiating with me, darren kinda persuaded me... not that i want to miss this thing on purpose, but reali, everyone around's studying hard. and i seriously think that i'll be the only one who seems so confident to have some spare time other than my subjects. but erm, i only started studyin on wednesday. today's saturday.

fine, perhaps i'll find time tmr to study. now as for smth that's after midyrs, had a call that cut off my studying time and blew away my momentum to mug by mr chan. haha, not that serious though. but, he was giving me task that i couldn't even get properly. hearing bits and pieces. and wanted to hear my thoughts n inputs. wth. plan cip that i've nvr done before?? (-well, thanks to pet's translation...) arghh, maybe i'll just leave this alone till mon...

sigh, just carry on with those notes... hope i don't doze off...

Labels: shagged, stress

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Wednesday, 20 June 2007-)
+6/20/2007 12:56:00 pm]*

Title: Yo ho!! Backy!!-

hey the previous days were fantastic.
the things that gave me lots of laughter,
forced me to be smarter,
made me believe that i can care for one another.

then some things were simply fabulouso.
sneaked into a casino,
and right beside goofy, posed!

but there were things that made me sad
when my stomach turned bad,
the irritating electric woolen blanket forced me mad,
the coughing illness went into dad,
disliked the suckky sleeping hours i had...

i also finally understand,
who the hell i am.
not that we had a bad camp,
just that the path is again brightened with a lamp.

but love and life's precious,
don't lose it.
be cautious,
it might just be the deadliest.

Labels: holiday, Thanksgiving

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 14 June 2007-)
+6/14/2007 02:46:00 pm]*

Title: before i leave-

hey.

just went to school. just to study and nothing related to cca or stuff like that. phew, out of the crazed politics. anyway, studied with gab. he was real active. as in, he always made the environment lively by doing lots of things. i mean, those that can de-stress him, or us, from the stupid mugging time in the canteen. cool huh? haha :D...

oh! i suddenly remembered why there's only two of us... he sent message to the amoebaaas and asked if they wanted to come like... this morning at 1? yup, and apparently mandy n tiffanie were supposed to come, but went missing. well, i guess one of them was still sleeping... you should've guessed it right, 'cause who else?? haha, didn't meant to be so mean... :D

anyway, back to where i left. there's something that made me laugh like crazy. it went like this:
why do you have to make a grand entrance? is it to make up for your small size?

this was real funny for someone who keeps quiet for most of the time in class... haha :D

alright, the muggin session was kinda useful when i did much maths and read some physics. but NO!! i wont give up!! haha, lying to myself... :D

btw, i'll give reports on the trip!!
byee!!

peace to all ^.^v!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/14/2007 07:49:00 am]*

Title: being right-

hey.

i'm getting worried. i don't know if this is in any way right for me but this mentality is hurting. in my mind, there's always been questions that start off with 'what if'. it's real sad to see myself losing confidence of what will happen next... and with the so-many things i could have done if not for the trip, i'm never ready for exams. yup, as aunt olive said, '早D溫書啦!!'. it'd been better if i started studying much earlier. fine, i'll be thinking of excuses real soon... anyway, just bless me. all i want is to get my brains working during the trip, cuz it's been collecting dust for long.

oh yes!! another wish is to forget those that have murdered my time to mug...

still, peace to all ^.^v!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Wednesday, 13 June 2007-)
+6/13/2007 10:08:00 pm]*

Title: faith-

TERENCE!! STAY COOL!!
THINGS WILL DEFINITELY GO AGAINST YOU.
BUT DON'T GIVE UP!!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF;
THAT THINGS WILL TURN WELL.
AND YOU WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL;
THE THING YOU ALWAYS WANTED.
EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT.
IT'S JUST THE TRUST YOU NEED.
MORE IMPORTANTLY,
FEEL THE LOVE AND BE LOVED...
IT'S THE ONLY THING TO KEEP YOU GOING.

i'll miss ya... that's for sure
peace to all :)

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/13/2007 12:20:00 pm]*

Title: faking history-

hi gd mornin.
just woke from the exasperating (-wow! i gotta be impressed with my vocab!! haha :) just as thick skin...) sunlight that smashed thru my damn thick windows curtains.
wth, disturbed my beauty sleep (-haha, sound so fairy like...).
but thank gdness, the match reali forced me to get up... cuz it's smth not 2b missed. yup, the cavs versus the spurs.
i was so crazed by the enthusiasm i had for the game that i started from the sofa, still feelin zzz, then to the floor and later like only a few cm away from the television screen. and cuz i still haven't washed up, it's damn unglam when someone (-i'll shut up on who...) took a pic of me...haha :D

anyway, back to the game.
it's real tight when the cavs were always tryin to tie the points. but those ppl could nvr get their pts rolling. as in, there were many times where they lost those easy chances. mismatch for varejao against parker, still lost the ball. what a waste. and that boiled me.
but its nice to watch lebron make plays by driving into the basket and getting an assist to pavlovic for a three pointer. got me high. haha :D
the ending part was madness. only 5 seconds left, n lebron gave a three pointer. missed it, but he was fouled before that!! the referee obviously didn't see it.
fine, but when ilgauskas made a buzzer two pointer later, it wasn't counted! then it had to force it to tie the history of being the lowest total score in any finals game at 147... i'd been also better to see the cavs lost by one pt in the end. if they can be bothered to add 2 into the scoreboard.
oh wells, i guess ppl love to force things to create 'history'... ...

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Tuesday, 12 June 2007-)
+6/12/2007 10:09:00 pm]*

Title: pace-

hi, i cannot believe myself that time will pass so fast within the next days. it's like, after the unconstructive trip, there's minimal time to get over the excited feeling. then gotta study for the next four days. midyrs next. followed by spa a week later. then smth darn impt, singyen will be back!! where the whole 35 will get together, AGAIN!! yay!! :D reali, i wanna know how life's there... it must fantabulously goood!!... it completely sucks here!!... why? cuz there's econs project to be due at the end of that week. drama elections next. possibly, if get into the big shots grp, planning thingy which i totally suck at it. argh! there's so many things to do... and i'm sure that the happy times will come and go so quickly... ...

but fine, terence. do things now first... sigh :-s ... whatever.

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/12/2007 12:01:00 pm]*

Title: Loathing-

hey...

i'm seriously beginning to hate myself. hate myself for being such incapable person. when studyin', i need music to keep myself awake. yet when i listen to some genres, i get distracted. then i tend to move to it unknowingly. darn freaky. by the time this weird feeling ends i lose focus of my work. yup, i've been noticing this since yest. and reali, this upsets me.

another is the way i've been speaking. lately, i've been in such uncomfy accent that suddenly made me feel detached from being a local here. alright, sounds confusing. but it's like, i've been talking in an act-chim way of speaking english. yet it doesn't feel that pro such that someone actually thot that i'm a foreigner with grotesque accent right from the start!!

but there's smth i gotta confess. since pri sch, i've been speakin' in the singlish way. perhaps it's the midsummer's way i've newly adopted. i mean, matt's way. haha, i don't know!! :D and the worst thing is that, this has become my habit!! now everyone'll see a terence with english that's act-pro-beh(not)-pro, act-cool-beh-cool, act-good-beh-good!! haha :D!!

oh gosh, i just realised how unprepared i am for midyrs... perhaps, lesser slack, more work!! whoosh!! :)

anyway, i hope this hatred feeling will end with me. to all those out there!! LOVE anything and everything around you! and... it's also the only that brings smiles to those around you, which means that you'll feel happy too!!

peace to all =)

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Monday, 11 June 2007-)
+6/11/2007 11:43:00 am]*

Title: my heart-

hey i just saw this post on meiling's blog... now trying to do smth for myself... haha :D

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/11/2007 09:54:00 am]*

Title: wishing well-

hey.

i've just checked the number of things to be done before i leave. LOTS!! then considering the amount of days left when i come back, there's only one answer. Terence will not make it.

u see, now i have three days. and half are assigned for the trip. i know i can't do all of them; those are bound to have things overdue. when i come back, there are like... five days of complete studying??

but reali, thank goodness that none of my papers are during the hols. i have no idea if my blessings will reach them, but please, bless those that are taking them next week. (-just imagine when everyone around are busy with work, and i'm supposed to be in a 'holiday' mood.)

i can't remember who, but probably those arts papers - matt, jas, denis, gabby, mag, michele, crenshaw, tiff, leonard, wanyu, ziyi, nat, binni, chao, hao wen, cailing, hannah, alexandria, victoria... that's all i know so far. haha :D some names are like (-wow!!) so far, far, far... ar away when i only know them by their face name N j1 class only. anyway, it's quite obvious that i'll be disturbing them from their books if send my regards to them. but strange thing is, i already had one in mind. it'll go smth like this:

hey to all, wish u guys strength n will 2 fight thru da remaining days 2 exams. tough n boring it may be, but rem!! you're not alone!! pls help 2 pass 2 ur loved ones who r also muggin so hard for midyrs now. with luv... :)

haha :D!! now i've got this feeling back to do my revision... what a way to inspire myself!!

but shoots! i thot of her again!! but err, as a form of motivation to mug... still alright i suppose... sigh, excuses. AGAIN.
btw, i just gotta face this fact - for the first time. i dreamt of her last night...

peace to all ^.^v!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Saturday, 9 June 2007-)
+6/09/2007 05:49:00 pm]*

Title: distance-

here i am, at dad's office. feeling bored at the quiet environment while doing some revision.

i have no freeaking idea what's wrong with you, you know.

it's always true that there's work to be done, things to prepare to go look for 清家姐 and tons of crazy stuff to attend to.

yet this terence, so childish and playful, has been thinking of someone who can ever hardly be close to... NEVER. it's like both of them are from totally different ccas, classes that are so damn far apart and that the dunno-how-to socialise-well terry has already built friendships with quite a number of her close friends. not her. and it just seems bad for these new friends of his if he gets too close to her... well, he can tell that one-way crushes are really unhealthy. and that the crushees will feel disgusted and try to run away from the crushers at the sight of them. yup, drama has alot. in the end? not even friendship.

well, i guess he has made up his mind now... just do short term plans. that is, just settle those upcoming things. and hope he'll chuck her aside for now. it's really distacting.

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/09/2007 12:44:00 am]*

Title: songs learnt from our beloved amoeba-

when we had no choice but to think of a random cheer at pre-camp:

seven! all on the floor
seven! give me some more
seven! 'till you get sore...
seven! o-o-o-oh!!

then we had this to get some amoeba identity:

amoeba! all on the floor
amoeba! give me some more
amoeba! 'till you get sore...
amoeba! o-o-o-oh!!

for the skit, made this up:

terence, just grab the rope
terence, just five steps more
terence, 'till you get sore...
terence, o-o-o-oh!!

and this:

i feel good! ta-na-na-na-na...
so good! ta-na...
so good! ta-na...
ta-na-na...
AMOEBA!!

then on the jelutong tower at macritchie, this song:

seven on the seventh floor
tu da... tu da...
seven on the seventh floor
tu da tu da hey
tu da tu da hey, tu da tu da hey...
seven on the seventh floor
tu da tu da hey... HEY!!

these are the ones i can remember... great memories!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 7 June 2007-)
+6/07/2007 05:05:00 pm]*

Title: our amoeba days-

hey
i just feel so sorry that i can't get an entry about our production fully before going to ltc. but i'll do it for ltc now, so that there'll be no more regrets in future. hope you won't mind...

day one.

yup, they said that it's gonna be soft skills. no wonder so boring in the talk when the melvin guy was going on and on in the auditorium. slept for some parts. hehe, without being caught. but really, the environment was so perfect that almost everyone was semi-sleeping, if not in dreamland.

then when we were asked to do a short portray of ways to communicate, i did the most horrible things. trash act. and when asked why i did that, did the worst thing for a leader to commit.. ASSUME. yup, he told us earlier not to, apparently i was dozing... haha :)

okay, it was too harsh. the instructor had sufficient material to talk about such that it divided some of the 'aiya, no big deal stuff la...' things into the stuff that have been happening in drama.

oh!! and also, our group was the only one to go do forfeits whenever any of our group members had to go up front. or rather, we did all of them. and we so rocked 'cause the girls suggested them!! and btw, there're only four of them!! haha

just when i was thinking of how i'd be suffering for a few more hours of dry talk, there's the activities. yeah, killed my boredom. haha!! :D

was a real idiot at first station. wanted to help by calling all the rest to move to the cave for it. but was soo blur. the rest were already waiting for me when i rushed to that stupid place... sigh. anyway, it was the skipping as a group game. tough part is, ten people and ten times continuously. but we managed to conquer the other team by miles. whoosh!!

then because we could only find all the other stations besides the first, they were real easy to get to. hahaha :D and we reached before the rest. all the time. yeah!!

second, the hoops game while the rest lifted a bucket of water with their feet. real dumb. the first shot in they'll have to remove their shoes, next'll wear them back, third'll end the game. so complex!! but best part is that, i wasn't looking out for my team mates whether they have done with their part. perhaps should have asked them to confirm like what i did before my third shot. argh, whatever.

another was jacob's ladder. used three metallic poles to transfer three blind-folded people through a distance. gab n i were like the damn pro type where we held our rod while grabbing the girls' elbows. they grabbed our shoulders for suppport, which really made them looked like blind crabs. haha, but they seriously trusted us and moved with ease.

the rest can't remember. but all i remember was the last station. the blind leading the blind. damn pathetic. we're all blind-folded and had to be holding each other throughout the audi extension. led by gab, we went by the audi door... anyway, tiffanie was complaining about my sweat from behind... didn't reali end. but when i was real bored of having such quiet time where all of us dunno what to do, i started to massage for clarisse. well, great that drama people could teach me smth like this a week ago. banged lots of places during the journey. too scared... haha :)

that early night at 7 pm, during debrief before showertime, mr wong was at the foyer, telling us about our problems in the stations. good thing, but things turned bad when i found that i was so irritating in some of the stations. just then, i was energised when she was on her phone and getting out of school. if i wasn't in that situation, i'd've just called her name. but no!! wrong time!! anyway, a slight glance was enough to spot her. and also, i think it was quite obvious that i was trying to sit higher just to see her better. some of the guys might have noticed me being wierdfor then. haha :)

that night had a lecture talk. super sianzz. women everest team talk. haha, i'm even taking slight naps while typing this out...

day two

macritchie park day. am super duper proud of ourselves to be the only team to see the park ranger nagging to us for the WARGH GAME.

some parts of the heated argument was the permit thingy, the fear of getting the infra-red rays from our guns might burn the trees and then cause forest fire to the entire national park. then the animals will just have no home to stay in and the naturally reserved piece of land there will simply be destroyed. and also that our noise level might be a source of noise pollution where the cute little creatures will be irritated by us. how shallow that guy is. how pitiful.

there was an alumni who was following us as the attackers group. he defended us fantastically well but old bloody jackass was so ruuuude that he wasn't giving any respect to any of us at all!! kept on bugging on the points, "you don't have a permit..." if possible, i'll just go forward to give him one tight slap. irritating piece of trash. another one will be for scolding natasha (-oh, she's our student facil...). oh, he said smth like this, "i'm not talking to you, can you please... how can you be so rude...?". wth. what's more? he was pointing to her and giving her that act-strong face. thank goodness she could manage herself. i couldn't. seriously.

vp tan was humbly accepting what that basket said. in the end our group really gave three cheers to him. he deserved it. especially when he was protecting natasha real tight and got louder than that idiot at times. he's just our hero.

it felt damn good when debbie was hiding someone and shouted softly "he's damn rude!!" seriously, cheers when i was staring his face turning to from power to fear. yay!!

we reached this stage 'cause we're by-passing ranger station and there's an old fat ugly gross bitch stopped us from there. eventually we had to retreat by getting back to the jelutong station. =.='''

basically for the war game, we're so busy firing each other at practice that no one could connect us with our scouters. and also, the walkies and handphones weren't working.

anyway... supposedly, debbie was real good at finding her way through the enemy. she and wei xiang were just like a tired father and an energetic girl when we shooters caught up with them one hour later. hahaha :D. no wonder she had all the praise at night... great job!!

next was the station games. misty valley was a game where our group had to divide into two. both teams start from the two sides and the objective was that to take the flag from the centre and transfer it back.

for our side, i camped at the ammunition area and fire the ping-pong balls (take it as bombs) while gab just moved real swiftly and grabbed the flag so quickly. owned. haha, sound so violent.. (: for myself, i killed three people, yay!! but really, thanks to clarisse's fantastic way of telling gab on the steps to move and of course, tiffanie who was using some chinese and directed me so well that i literally aimed so well... haha:D.

at the last of the five rounds, maximilian took over me. low morale 'cause i was killed. useless terence... anyway, i saw a whole new world to the game. debbie was crazy to throw all her bombs all at one shot and managed to kill some!! whoa! haha :) but max is definitely better. he was supposed to aim at debbie but one dumb alumni game master was right between the two and it smashed on his head. BANG!! incredible!!

next game. vicious peak was my fav. it was a game where our sherpas, gab and martini, will have to lead at most two people with every movement along the seven storey wooden tower at jelutong station. first instruction was damn simple "start guiding your people up now." no obstacle at all, yet we so dumbly try to de-code what ms april chok was telling us. hahaha, think too much!! :D. no wonder she's like why you all not going huh?? sounded like we're retards like that.

i went up with the girls first, thinking that i might cause lesser trouble by staying away. then someone actually counted the number of levels we took and started singing:

seven on the seven floor
tu da... tu da...
seven on the seven floor
tu da tu da hey
tu da tu da hey, tu da tu da hey...
seven on the seven floor
tu da tu da hey... HEY!!

after that there was a dance to that spastic song. i joined in. haha :D

going up was easy. just carry martini up was like no kick for gab... but coming down was like the worse-case scenario. our strong people, max n gab, were to be named as injured people. the rule was that the injured people cannot touch any part of the building... anyway, i went down to the sixth floor first. then i carried gab by lifting at the armpits with my forearms.

then it's quite obvious that i'm so weak to carry gab all the way in which i kinda wanted a little rest at the next level. so i suggested this stupid idea of sitting down on a bench while gab rest on my lap. he stretched his legs to tiff's feet, so his whole body was straight. next was that someone who was taking max decided to join in the fun by laying him on gabriel. max was on his calf. awful position... then someone shouted this, 'threesome!!' hahaha :D laughing all the way. until one brilliant chap found out a way to step on shoes while walking, we stayed in this position for a real long time. we somehow made it when tiff was busy replacing shoes to make a path for gab while i tried to support him. phew! after such a long joke. haha :D

took a long time, but we still managed to complete the station fast. so we all went up to the top of the building when wx's cam crew were nearby. we cam-whored!! always fun to do such things. haha :)

that night, truth or dare game. everyone did at least one, i suppose. for mine, nah, it's not impt... but the funny parts were when gab was DARN good at pole-dancing. then debbie and andrew krygs were grinding mark v. apparently, she's fake, but he's horny!! haha :D they just rocked the whole quadrangle. btw, charles can reali provide us with some sick dare ideas. sji, perhaps.. hahaha :D

day three

shines place. tested our strength.

grouped with tiff and siming at negotiation course. hanged on ropes. me being so wierd, can convince people to get across obstacles, but became so nervy when it's my turn. haha. first level was ok. but second was the one where sm dropped out. tiff and i left together. moved to the centre pillar (-there're five of them, we started from the sides) and when she moved so far ahead, she landed on the middle platform first. by the time she proceeded off to holding the bottle, i was left stranded with that harry instructor guy. he said i there's no time and must go on a different route from her. wth. but i had to move anyway, so not so scared. but that fella, he's shaking the bloody rope that kept my heart pounding... but thanks to tiff and the rest, she's always trying to convince me that it's gonna be easy task... all the girls were just awesome... but... i bet she's still angry at me ps-ing her then..sorry!! haha :D

did double footline next. oh, it's something where all three rope-walkers will have nothing to hold onto. only stepping on the zig-zag steps stuck to two ropes. they gotta be belayed by their belayers. then there's a rope manager. haha, all the names sounded so pro... 'cause i tried all three roles!! haha :D

by the time i was going up, martini and clarisse had left to prepare for temasek seminar... anyway, i was leading the other two. all i could remember was tiff, 'cause she's the only one there who was trying to talk to me and just distract me from being scared. sry to the other one behind her!! i forgot ya!! but the funny part is that, everyone was just calling me to let go of the safety rope. i hecked-care and shouted back at them... haha :) sounded so rebellious for once... but we managed to finish it somehow... and i learnt to balance by stepping the inner side of the two ropes. only at the final part of the distance. wow, how late!!

felt real sianz when all my energy was used in the high elements earlier. while waiting for the other group, almost all of us were stoning - either staring into blank space or throwing stones; gab's throwing them onto mandy and debbie's thighs, just waiting to hear smth like 'fat thighs'... tiff was so randomly tossing the stones from the ground onto me. sigh, i was half sleeping then and can't reali b bothered...

next was the single footline. we only had vertical hanging ropes to hold and one rope to step on. this time round, last of the three. real scary to see my feet shaking, anw, i kept holding onto the safety rope such that everyone on the ground was shouting for me to let go, again... ok, i did for at most 1 second. haha:D i think much lesser. but during the times when i was trying to calm myself down, i realised how beautiful the scenery of being higher than anyone else was sooo cool!!... and when everyone were trying to cheer me on, there's just a wierd feeling that i can manage it... but anyway, i only learnt how to balance myself when at midway; can only hold the rope by pulling down, not slanted. no wonder i was imbalanced all the time. haha :D

for some strange reason, whenever i'm not on the ropes, i've got this excited feeling that i wanna try onto them. but the moment i step on them, i turned scared. then everytime forced my whole group to end up being the slowest to complete the task... haha :)

for the high elements, tiff and tash were injured. i mean, there're splinters beneath their nails. tiff's one was really bad. totally inside her right index finger. ouch. tears flowed like the sweat we've been producing for the entire camp. tash was pale. good thing that they're treated. but wished i could've shared their burden. 'cause i kept thinking on how pain they might be feeling, yet could do nth.

then there was lunch. no one had the appetite. the (-too) sweet drink was horrible. but thank goodness there was lemon lime drink in the drinks stall that was like the best i've ever drank...

second half was boring. low elements. team building stuff. the things worth remembering was this station. narrow passage game. it's when there's a casualty and the entire team had to use a stretcher and ferry this person through an obstacle course. but this time round, everyone was to stand on wooden stools that were on the stone floor. we're also to imagine that we cannot touch the killer 'piranhas' there. it's damn tough that in the end, everyone 'died' and cheated while ferrying this casualty from group 8. hey, she's got this nice smile... but erm, it's not a time to digress... anyway, the stupid thing was that, the game master said the casualty more impt than the rest... yaya, whatever =.='''...

another game was the high wall. gab was damn fast to think of just pushing each of the guys up while lifting the girls up with them stepping their arms. wow!! no wonder we're just so fast to complete our station.. and so much slack time... haha :) the best thing was that the sc group used it after we intro-ed it to them!! gab rocked our team... haha :D

but the funniest part of all was the game master's english. he told us to 'chain' our leader. erm, it's 'change'. then randomly, i just said smth similar to what chao hao always say about the singlish... haha, it's darn funny when all of us were in stoning mood. :D

went off that shines place the first. and went to the bathroom the first. gab cheong-ed to get the keys real quickly. saddest thing was, we were called to the quadrangle before dinner.

guess what? punishment. mr raju, that camp commander (-that's what they called), listed all our mistakes during the camp for every group and named all we had to do. it's damn retarded. oh, this was what he told us:

your group was segregated as seen from the past few days where some of the talkative ones and the quiet ones were far apart. at macritchie, the talkative ones were way ahead, leaving their teammates behind. names included... (-i just hate name-calling... so i'll leave it blank!!). your job. take thirty mugs from the canteen, fill them with water and run the track once, then go past the gallery. time limit, fifteen minutes.

well, that was kinda kind to us already. running the track once and completing it in fifteen minutes. other groups had to do it like three times with benches or smth like that for twelve minutes... thanks teachers!!

anyway, the first dumb thing about this was, we don't even know where the **** the gallery is!! second, we just took any mug instead of taking those with handle!! third, we were taking our own sweet time trying to plan what type of cups to take. fourth, that's for me. i was wearing my fairy crew shirt!!

but there's one smart thing i did. it's being the time keeper. before mr raju started to give his final instructions, i started my stopwatch. then whenever they asked for time check, i just 報大數. it hurried them and eventually, thank goodness we did it way before time... we rocked!!

then when we got back to assemble at the quadrangle, mr raju told us this, smth that was so fantastic:

actually, what you all have done just now is not related to the mistakes you all commited. it's just to make you remember them...

@#$%^&*!! wth, it's really boiling, but somehow found it very funny... :D

oh, back to where i left off 3 paras ago... the council group (-12 methinks...) were being punished by an alumni. push-ups. michael da silva led the counting. seriously, my mind was blank and didn't know what was happening, until mark v suggested to debbie to do altogether. then they all just shouted to all to do this as one entire body. real massive THING. or at least, it moved my tired body from the ground. they're just influential... many people followed by encouraging the rest to carry on with this despite the pain. no pain no gain was what ian (-from rugby i guess...) said. and these words really made me do more than i could. close to hundred counts, considering that i'm damn weak... it made me feel the impossible. thank you all. and the most impt thing was that it made everyone feel the pressure of being a leader. if we can make it, we're on our way to success.

at night, personality lecture talk. first, mr pang was a real comedian.. gave a funny, gay talk and one which added thosands of ideas. enriching and entertaining. anyway, he was trying to erase the notion of the whatever (-copyrighted thingy) map created by mr tan from our minds (-btw, i reali hated the way he was boasting about his accuracy of the map during our war game's night debrief). and also to not to change the characters of us.

oh, there's smth i truly liked alot when debbie gave this comment 'the council people are living in the world of their own'. it's when jason was acting so exaggerately during his part to talk... haha :D

there's also a clip from 'men of honor', and that how leaders act according to situations. touching scene, 'cause i was thinking on the way i've been treating my log people; close. it's just being harsh. and i could just literally feel what they've been thinking whenever i raised my voice at them then. felt real sorry. which was why i teared and in order to keep it to myself, i was damn silent while debbie and clarisse were giving comments like ouch, how horrible!! and stuff like cursings... sigh, i guess i have to change my way of treating others in future. and... I DON'T DO IT FOR THE SAKE OF CCA VOTING.

anyway, we ended the night real late-past two. . i mean, our group, officially and legally. 'cause of the preparation of the skit. it's real stupid. we originally wanted to re-do the threesome stuff on the following day. but later when there's no values to be learnt, we changed to the single footline idea... but we're just so good that debbie could draft all the narration into smth understoodable. i wouldn't have done that. in the end, we had to be chased by ms april to bed.

then the student facils were forced to stay up late to patrol. but real lazy to catch us when max gab n i went out to the washroom. well, good for us!!

day four

got up damn early to discuss about the skit. 0630am. wth, only like four hours of sleep. but no PT!!! yay! all of us were like getting yawns when doing for the final rehearsal. haha :)

hurried like mad to breakfast, pack bag, listen to lecture and do the online evaluation. crazy life.

then at the closing ceremony. the other groups did real well about their skits. we too!! but i felt we're too cautious by just following the theme... anyway, lots of fun to see everyone to participate in it (-::winks:: i was in a good, high postion on the bench to see that...)

then things ended on a high when we all acted on stage as a group with lots of cheers and actions. it just gave us the power. and also, we held our hands together, side by side as we said the final blessing. meant alot to me, at least. and lastly, we gave three cheers to ltc.. spurred the entire school to join in...

a great feeling to have created this memory for the past few days. we'll definitely meet up someday... after our midyrs.

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 3 June 2007-)
+6/03/2007 10:46:00 pm]*

Title: cip-

my right middle finger is numb thanks to the cip today. quite suckky.

oh, then after that, i went to lan with some of the class' boys. they're having a guy talk, with stuff like four bases. oh, it's about the stages in relationship in a guy's mind with a girl. seems shocking at first, but eventually i accepted it.

on and off at lan. wasn't reali the best (-duh!! sorta like a first timer what...) but managed to give surprises.

suddenly given a boost when read her blog just now. great feeling for ltc...

peace to all

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/03/2007 09:51:00 am]*

Title: tearyberry-

hey
it's all penned on 02 june, 0900

i've been in tears since curatin call.

oh finally, everything's over. nightmares n nervy stuff are all gone. yep, if i'm part of the cast i'll probably feel much more relaxed about the stage fright thingy. but the cardboards are gonna be dumped. our forested pillars wil become tmr's trash. aww, what a waste. what the crew have been back for the saturdays a month ago are gonna be gone forgotten.

i've this feeling that the log team have the lowest morale. cracking their brains to find the balance for our pillars which weren't used anyway. lots of wires were thrown by... er, me yesterday when packing up (-sorry to be wasting stuff). spending some of our breaks to take the cloth. had bad relationship when arguing over nest arrangements. i've been shouting at them when i've got smth to do with them...

more to come soon!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Saturday, 2 June 2007-)
+6/02/2007 11:47:00 pm]*

Title: log outing-

hey

went out with the log team just then. arranged 2b@ 2pm, they came past 3. so thank goodness we, as in marian cren n clarence, went to bk for my lunch

pooled at lucky plaza without purpose before the movie. jon kept blaming... then shrek was real boring. kept thinking about our play yest in its play amongst a movie. and also thought of pirates of the caribbean when it had a ship with it. just could sleep for a moment n yet still know what'll happen. just too expected. but... i only found that the young hot male voice of 'artie' was justin timberlake. cool huh?? i didn't know that!!

dinner at whatever place at cine. the waitress missed giving us the total bill. mine, cuiyi n kim's order weren't there. haha. treat!! btw, seekei's fren was too bitchy on the first sight of her... felt kinda disgusted. can't even be bothered to remember her name. haha :D

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/02/2007 11:44:00 pm]*

Title: behind the scenes @ show time-

hey my second part of show time.

that mr chan was callilng for everyone to be in order by 710 when in actual fact, there's absolutely no time to waste for anyone. be it cast or crew. the crowd're coming in already and they can't be possibly left outside for long. so thank sarah, she called everyone to get into backstage at 706. heck care him. and also, thanks to sharon who brought up this idea of calling the show all by herself before the crowd came. they two rock!!!

before the show i gave gabriel rod a call. " hey you and your girlfriend look good today..." he was kinda giving me that wth tone. haha, sounded real funny. oh, i reali dont believe that they're reali together until tiff told me!! anyway, both of them do look good la... hmm, ltc coming soon. wonder how they'll react??

at backstage, i was running around trying to tell ppl abt the confidence thingy. the rest i forgot, but the conoeist guys i remembered (-hmm, sounds wrong... haha :D). that's what i told them "i don't know if you guys need a morale boost but i'll tell ya this. you guys will look good on stage later." wow, i'm so amazed i could kinda relieve those who nvr speak in drama. or rather, i nvr heard anything from them. haha :)

i was supposed to share the cann on stage left n share with sarah... while she was preparing to get out as emcee, i took over. nice conference with pet, monica n then later sharon. they sounded real pro... then there were times when we chatted as if there was no show... was quite relaxing then. and, sharon was quite impressed with me then!! yay!! but, as we all know, she's always that spontaneous. so terence, dont get too excited okay?? haha :D

at break, i left for putting my contacts on. apparently i dropped it somehow so i was semi blind. left eye was good, but together with the right, total blur. quite wierd feeling then. but that's actually for my cam whoring session aft the prod... worth it i suppose...?? haha :)

then at the end at curtain call. i went out n bowed real badly. so unglam. haha. but i didnt want to act that arrogant or smth... anyway, loved the applause. perhaps not for me, but still thanks!

err, that's only the off stage stuff. the on-stage things will come in future!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/02/2007 09:59:00 am]*

Title: pre show-

hey.

yest was the show. nice, according to some ppl. hilarious. but it all built up from morning...

'after today will be our unofficial stepdown' serena said this. i nvr liked this thought of stepping down even before the show started... wanting to end?? sorry, i just felt disgusted. but i remained silent.

loved the way sharon directed the lovers scene with bigger emotions. huger actions. lots of staring, added flavour to all the accusing parts. damn nice, and it also helped mii to understand the entire play much better. it's like for every line she's trying hard to think of an action for them. they're just good!!

was blur abt the lights' coloured gel on where to paste. tried to know why she was pasting masking tape on some lights n not the others. yup, i asked n she gave me the rolling eyes. haha, thank goodness monica (-her tech manager) told mii she's always like that. perhaps i gotta learn to adapt to these ppl in future...

lots of delays to the final rehearsal... hair half done for sondra, only on the right side. haha, split personality. but she was kinda angry... sorry... :)

after that, monica trashed us with all the mistakes. "eleme" added more. apparently i was the only idiot to nod my head to whatever she said... haha:D , as if i'm cast like that... okay, everyone got her point.

dinner break. canadian pizza. 16 of them. thanks to desiree, she was calling the company again after i did re-confirmed once. jasvir helped also. n that's what she told me, " you must call many times so they'll chuck all other orders aside n just do yours..." haha, it worked!! two minutes early from their promise of being here in one hour!!

before that, i was eating desiree's tooth-marked green apple. she claimed it's sour. but it wasn't reali to mii.. diff taste buds. haha :D

n thanks to sharon, she brought apples for us all. ttoo much. there're leftovers i suppose.

only took one cheesy pizza n was busy hurrying ppl 2b prepared. n btw, i was still in my blue pe u when all changed except makeup. lots of shoutings here n there. sorry to those whom i damaged their ears.

okay, gotta go to do pw, retarded!! shall tell ya more, my little cute diary, on the show!!

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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xxx typed*: blog

(Saturday, 30 June 2007-)
+6/30/2007 11:36:00 pm]*

Title: saddy-

Labels: dominic, ltc, small, splat

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/30/2007 10:44:00 am]*

Title: maddy-

Labels: celebrations, fights, hallucination, kpo, splat, troubles

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 28 June 2007-)
+6/28/2007 03:56:00 pm]*

Title: OVD: Something Bad?-

Labels: damian, gareth, history, mss, spa

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Tuesday, 26 June 2007-)
+6/26/2007 06:51:00 pm]*

Title: backtrack...-

Labels: holiday, smiles

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/26/2007 05:36:00 pm]*

Title: wow!-

Labels: blessed, oops, unfair

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Monday, 25 June 2007-)
+6/25/2007 06:42:00 pm]*

Title: white flag-

Labels: break, smiles?

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/25/2007 08:01:00 am]*

Title: destress-

Labels: babysharon, celebrations

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Saturday, 23 June 2007-)
+6/23/2007 02:55:00 pm]*

Title: Crashed into pieces-

Labels: shagged, stress

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Wednesday, 20 June 2007-)
+6/20/2007 12:56:00 pm]*

Title: Yo ho!! Backy!!-

Labels: holiday, Thanksgiving

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 14 June 2007-)
+6/14/2007 02:46:00 pm]*

Title: before i leave-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/14/2007 07:49:00 am]*

Title: being right-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Wednesday, 13 June 2007-)
+6/13/2007 10:08:00 pm]*

Title: faith-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/13/2007 12:20:00 pm]*

Title: faking history-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Tuesday, 12 June 2007-)
+6/12/2007 10:09:00 pm]*

Title: pace-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/12/2007 12:01:00 pm]*

Title: Loathing-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Monday, 11 June 2007-)
+6/11/2007 11:43:00 am]*

Title: my heart-

hey i just saw this post on meiling's blog... now trying to do smth for myself... haha :D

The Keys to Your Heart

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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+6/11/2007 09:54:00 am]*

Title: wishing well-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Saturday, 9 June 2007-)
+6/09/2007 05:49:00 pm]*

Title: distance-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/09/2007 12:44:00 am]*

Title: songs learnt from our beloved amoeba-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
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(Thursday, 7 June 2007-)
+6/07/2007 05:05:00 pm]*

Title: our amoeba days-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Sunday, 3 June 2007-)
+6/03/2007 10:46:00 pm]*

Title: cip-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/03/2007 09:51:00 am]*

Title: tearyberry-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

(Saturday, 2 June 2007-)
+6/02/2007 11:47:00 pm]*

Title: log outing-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/02/2007 11:44:00 pm]*

Title: behind the scenes @ show time-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________

+6/02/2007 09:59:00 am]*

Title: pre show-

Labels: terence

yup, so that's what happened (:
________________________________________________________________________________